Immigrant Investing for Dummies, part one
Life is hard enough on this sandbar called Prince Edward Island. We need all the help we can get.
What better help than money from across the continent and oceans.
Let’s get right to it. You want the money and I know how to get it.
First thing, you have to know your numbers. Your business will be called a number whether you want to name it after your daughter Tracey or not. That’s to protect you from public scrutiny.
Second you have to know a gatekeeper. Not like a gatekeeper for a sheep ranch. This is an accountant or a lawyer who’s “connected” to the government. Just one call up and ask. If they sound dumb or have scruples, move on to another accountant or lawyer. One in every 10 will know.
Third, you have to be on The List. What’s that? The List is a couple of pieces of paper that have your name on it or not. All MLA’s have their name on The List, along with their campaign managers and people who donate big.
You could buy a ticket for the $1,000 political dinner. Two tickets is better. Means you’re serious. If you’re from the other side of the fence, don’t worry. Some of the biggest Tories go to the Liberal dinner and vicey versa. It’s money alone that counts.
Now I’ve never seen The List but my gardener has. He was big with the Liberals in 80’s. The president of the Conservative Party has seen it too. He told me.
The List is kept in the top right hand drawer of the top right hand man to the Premier. That used to be Ax MacAulay. Then it was Peter McQuaid. It might be back with Ax now or maybe Chris LeClair has it. I don’t think they trust Tex with it but I could be wrong.
When you get that far, call me and I’ll give you the rest of what you need to know. Have your certified cheque ready.
Update - I was asked who is “Ax MacAulay”? That’s his nick name. His real name is Alex MacAulay but he took on Ax to indicate his style of management, as in “you’ll get the Ax”.
